Endorsement

Overview

[1] The parties started dating in 2004, married on August 20, 2006, and began to cohabit on November 1, 2006. There are two (2) children of the marriage, being Y (born ***, 2011) and Z (born ***, 2013). The parties separated on April 27, 2020.

[2] Early in the marriage, the parties shared a warm and positive relationship. Over time, their relationship grew strained. The applicant father claims that respondent mother directed a barrage of verbal and emotional abuse, and some physical abuse, towards himself and the children. The mother claims that the father was emotionally and financially abusive, lacked empathy, and used the children to make things difficult.

[3] The father ended the marriage stating that he could no longer withstand the mother’s abuse and the impact that it was having on the children. The mother struggled to accept that the marriage was over, threatened to ruin the father if he carried out the separation, and followed through on her threats. The repercussions were far worse than the father could have anticipated. The mother reported unsubstantiated allegations against the father to police and CAS workers, repeatedly contacted his employer in an unsuccessful effort to terminate his employment, contacted his co-workers to denigrate and embarrass him, and sent hundreds of vulgar, obscene, or belittling messages to him, his lawyer, his family members, and others. At times, her abusive conduct was extreme and appeared non-sensical. Eventually, an interim order was made to restrain the mother’s harassing communications and behaviour. The emotional and financial toll that the father, the children, and others have experienced from the mother’s conduct has been extraordinary.

[4] Despite witnessing the intense adult conflict as it unfolded in front of them, both Y and Z are relatively well-adjusted and resilient children who continue to perform well at school and in their various extra-curricular activities. Both are mature, perceptive, and kind-hearted children. They clearly love their parents and have tried to avoid taking sides or being critical of either parent throughout the litigation. Nevertheless, during meetings with their OCL clinician, Y and Z both expressed a strong preference to primarily reside with the father and share parenting time with the mother. The children trust the father to act and make decisions in their best interests. They also appreciate that the mother has been doing her best to care for them. Y and Z have adjusted to their complicated family dynamics by downplaying or ignoring the adult conflict, by taking advantage of the calmer environment at the father’s home, and by making the most of their parenting time with the mother on her “good” days when she is positive and nurturing while accepting that she also has “bad” days when her behaviour is challenging. As set out below, I find that Y and Z are bright and thoughtful children who have gone through a difficult family situation due to the adult conflict that forced them to grow up quickly. I accept that both children gave their parenting views and preferences after carefully and thoughtfully reflecting on what they have witnessed and experienced. In the circumstances, I am satisfied that the views that Y and Z have shared deserve significant weight in determining the parenting arrangements that would serve their best interests.

[5] I am satisfied that it would be in the children’s best interests to primarily reside with the father and share parenting time with the mother, while equally sharing holiday time and liberally sharing contact time (i.e., through calls and messages) with both parties.

[6] I find that the mother should only communicate with the father to share information about the children by using a parenting app, and that she should otherwise be restrained from communicating with him, his employer, and members of his family. In the circumstances of this case, I decline to order police to enforce the restraining order.

[7] I am satisfied that the mother should pay child support to the father, and I accept that the parties should share the children’s s.7 expenses in proportion to their incomes.

[8] As discussed below, I find that the mother owes a $105,684.85 equalization payment to the father. In addition, I find that she owes him $102,491.89 in post-separation adjustments and a total of $33,560.00 in unpaid costs awards. In my view, she should pay him these amounts from her share of the net sale proceeds of the matrimonial home that currently are being held in trust. I am not persuaded that the father has hidden funds or assets from the mother to evade his equalization obligations.

[9] I find that the parties should divide the household contents of the matrimonial home in accordance with an inventory list that both seem to agree on. I also find that each party should take ownership of the family vehicle they regularly used during the marriage, and that both should be equally responsible for family debts that they jointly incurred.

[10] I am not satisfied that mother has established an entitlement to spousal support, and I decline to grant this relief.

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