COURT FILE NO.: FS-17-90706

DATE: 20211008

ONTARIO

SUPERIOR COURT OF JUSTICE

B E T W E E N:

R.M.

Self-represented

Applicant/Mother

• and -

P.M.

Self-represented

Respondent/Father

HEARD: September 21-24, 2021

REASONS FOR JUDGMENT

MANDHANE J.

OVERVIEW

[1] The parents, R.M. (“the Mother”) (she/her) and P.M. (“the Father”) (he/him), were married on October 2, 2011. They separated on August 2, 2016, though they attempted to reconcile several times before the Mother commenced this Application in April 2017.

[2] They have two children: N.M. (he/him) and C.M. (she/her) (“the Children”). The Children live with their Mother and have not seen their Father since April 2021. Prior to that, the Children were seeing him every Sunday for supervised parenting time at the paternal grandparents’ home.

[3] The Children are enrolled in a local primary school and attend before- and after-school care. They regularly visit the Coptic Church. Both are enrolled in martial arts, swimming lessons, and summer day camps. They do not have any disabilities or special needs.

[4] Prior to trial, the parents agreed that the Mother would have final parental decision-making authority. They also agreed that the Father’s parenting time would be gradually increased over the next two months, so that he would eventually have the Children on alternating weekends, from Friday at 6:30 p.m. until Saturday at 5:00 p.m. (“overnight parenting time”).

[5] This is a high conflict case where both parents were self-represented at trial. The parents both testified, as did the maternal grandmother. Photographs and video recordings were entered as exhibits. The parents ask me to decide:

a. Whether the Father’s parenting time should be supervised;

b. The location for the parenting time exchanges (“exchanges”); and

c. Whether the Father should pay a proportional amount of the Children’s health, childcare, and extracurricular expenses.

[6] The Mother asks me to order:

a. That the Father’s parenting time take place at the paternal grandparents’ home;

b. That he be directly supervised by one of the grandparents if he takes the Children to large public gatherings (i.e., Niagara Falls, Wonderland, etc.);

c. That he not introduce the Children to new romantic partners;

d. That he not share images of the Children with third-parties or on social media;

e. That exchanges take place at the Coptic church; and

f. That he contributes proportionally towards the Children’s expenses.

[7] The Mother says that these orders are necessary for the Children’s safety and well-being due to the history of family violence, the Father’s instability, the Children’s separation anxiety.

[8] The Father says that the parenting orders sought by the Mother are not in the Children’s best interests because they stand in the way of him deepening his relationship with them. He vehemently denies ever harming the Children and alleges that the Mother has created a false narrative about him through complaints to the police and involvement of child welfare agencies. He says that the Mother is trying to control him under the auspices of a parenting order. He says that exchanges should take place at a police station to minimize future conflict. Finally, he says that he cannot afford anything above $500 per year, per child in terms of the Children’s expenses.

SHORT CONCLUSION

[9] It is in the Children’s best interest to gradually introduce unsupervised parenting time. Until such time as the Father has had three weekends of overnight parenting time and the parents have completed three sessions of co‑parent counselling, the Father’s parenting time shall continue to take place at the grandparents' residence. After those two conditions are met, the Father may have unsupervised parenting time at his own residence (or that of the paternal grandparents).

[10] Exchanges shall take place at a supervised access centre for a period of eight months. Exchanges should be in an efficient and time-bound manner, and the parents shall avoid direct communication. Neither party shall record the exchanges. The parents shall contribute proportionally to any costs associated with the supervised exchanges.

[11] After the supervised exchanges are over, the Father shall pick the Children up from after-school care on Fridays at 6:00 p.m., and the Mother shall pick the Children up from the Father’s home on Saturday evenings.

[12] The Father shall contribute proportionally to the Children’s healthcare and childcare expenses, including daycare, before- and after-school care, and summer day camps. He shall make a lump sum payment of $1500 per year towards the Children’s extracurricular activities.

ANALYSIS

[13] My powers under the amended parenting provisions of the Divorce Act, R.S.C. 1985, c.3 (2nd Supp.) are broad and purposive. I can allocate parenting time and decision-making authority, impose a schedule, provide for the means of communication, and make any other order appropriate to secure the child’s best interests: Divorce Act, ss. 16, 16.1, 16.2.

[14] When making a parenting order, I must stay laser-focused on the best interests of the child: Divorce Act, s. 16(1). To judicially determine the child’s best interests, I must “give primary consideration to the child’s physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being”: s.16(2). I must engage in a rigorous assessment of the child’s specific circumstances including, for example, the need for stability; each parent’s plan of care; their relationship with each parent; the history of care; the child’s views and preferences; the ability of the parents to cooperate; and any history of family violence that might impact parenting: Divorce Act, s. 16(3)(a)-(k).

[15] In my view, the parenting provisions of the Divorce Act must be interpreted consistently with children’s human rights and Canada’s obligations under international law: E.M.B. v. M.F.B, 2021 ONSC 4264; referring to R. v. Hape, 2007 SCC 26, [2007] 2 S.C.R. 292, at paras. 53, 174, and Baker v. Canada, 1999 CanLII 699 (SCC), [1999] 2 S.C.R. 817, at paras. 69-71. A human rights-based approach to the parenting provisions of the Divorce Act, requires courts to recognize, respect and reflect each child as an individual distinct from their parents, and to empower children to be actors in their own destiny. In practice, it requires judges to probe into each child’s lived experience, to meaningfully consider their views and preferences, and to craft an order that promotes that child’s best interests and overall well-being.

The Children’s current circumstances

[16] The Children are healthy, happy, and energetic. N.M. is almost eight years old while C.M. is five years old. They live in Mississauga with their Mother, attend public school, and go to Sunday school on weekends. Because the Mother works full-time, she relies on childcare services, including before- and after-school care and summer camps.

Relationship with both parents

[17] Since separation, the Mother has been solely responsible for making all decisions regarding the Children’s healthcare, education, and extracurricular activities. The Mother takes the Children for regular check-ups and occasional visits to the emergency room. During the pandemic lockdowns, she facilitated the Children’s daily attendance at online school while working from home. She has enrolled the Children in weekly martial arts and swimming lessons. The Children are close with their maternal grandparents.

[18] The Father has been less involved in the day-to-day care of the Children on account of his competing work obligations and, later, because of the separation and his decision to move to Scarborough. Even now, the Father does not seek anything close to equal parenting time. He only wishes to see the Children every second weekend for one night. The Father has re-partnered but does not have any other children of his own.

Family conflict

[19] The Children face unique challenges because of their parents’ high conflict relationship. The Mother says that the Children have been exposed to the Father’s physical and verbal abuse before and after separation.

[20] The Father says that he has a strong bond with his Children and that he loves them and wishes to spend consistent time with them. He denies ever threatening the Mother or abusing the Children in any way. He says that his relationship with the Children has been stymied by the Mother’s complaints to the police, her insistence on supervised parenting time, and her escalation of conflict during exchanges.

[21] In my view, the Children’s continued exposure to parental conflict is one of the most significant factors affecting the Children’s current circumstances. According to the Ontario Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC-O):

Children are harmed by exposure to conflict between their parents. This is one of the most consistent findings in the research on post-separation parenting. High conflict between parents increases children’s anxiety and negatively impacts healthy child development. Family violence is a particular risk factor, but parents should also avoid arguments in the presence of their children, such as when dropping off or picking up their children.

Based on the totality of the evidence, I find that both parents have both contributed to a dynamic whereby the Children are regularly exposed to family conflict.

[22] Between August 2016 and April 2017, while they were trying to reconcile, the Children were exposed to regular arguments and fighting. For his part, the Father demonstrated a pattern of belittling and demeaning the Mother in front of the Children. For example, during an argument over money, the Father called the Mother a “dumb bitch” and a “whore” while she was breastfeeding their newborn baby and within earshot of their young son. While this incident is certainly troubling, given their young ages and the passage of time, it is unlikely that it would have a lasting impression on them.

[23] However, as the Children have gotten older, the parents have continued to expose them to conflict. The Father is prone to occasional angry and frustrated outbursts, and I accept that the police had to be called after the Father became angry during a verbal disagreement at a family dinner at Jack Astor’s in 2020.

[24] That all being said, the Mother has not adduced sufficient evidence to satisfy me on a balance of probabilities that the Father has threatened her or the Children. While the Mother alleges that the Father came to her home in July 2017 and threatened to kill them if she did not take him back, the Father vehemently denies this incident took place and says he was at work at the time. The criminal charges against the Father were eventually withdrawn.

[25] There is no evidence to suggest that the Father has physically, verbally, or emotionally abused the Children in any way. Despite numerous calls to the police and child welfare agencies, the Mother did not adduce any relevant records to support a finding that the Father has abused, neglected, or harmed the Children.

[26] In my view, the Mother is not blameless in the current family dynamic at this point in time. In particular, the Mother’s decision to record each interaction with the Father, while herself remaining silent, has created a pressure-cooker environment during exchanges. This all culminated in the police becoming involved in the last exchange on April 25, 2021.

[27] Another significant factor affecting the Children’s circumstances is their lack of stable and predictable parenting time with the Father. Post-separation, despite being offered mid-week and weekend visits, the Father has consistently sought minimal parenting time, preferring to see the Children once a week or once every two weeks, and declining regular, virtual parenting time.

[28] The Father has not established a stable routine with the Children. He refuses to be bound by a schedule because he feels that he should have the “right” to come and go as he pleases. Over the past five years, the Father’s parenting time can be roughly summarized as follows:

a. Between August and October 2016 (for 2 months), the Father left the matrimonial home and refused to see the Children;

b. Between October 2016 and June 2017 (for 8 months), the parents tried to reconcile, and the Father saw the Children regularly at the Mother’s home;

c. Between June 2017 and October 2017 (for 4 months), the Father did not see the Children due to his criminal bail conditions;

d. Between November 2017 and Spring 2020 (for 1 year and 3 months), after obtaining a court order on consent, the Father had supervised parenting time at the Coptic Church for up to eight hours every Sunday;

e. Between Spring 2020 to April 2021 (for 1 year), after his criminal charges are withdrawn, the Father saw the Children every Sunday from 10:15 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. at the paternal grandparents' home;

f. Between April 25, 2021 and the present (5 months), the Father has refused to see the Children.

[29] While he certainly faced unique challenges arranging for parenting time after being criminally charged, in the four years since separation, he has demonstrated a consistent pattern of cancelling visits at the last minute and putting his own convenience and needs above those of the Children. He assumes that the Mother is always available to take care of the Children, even during his scheduled parenting time.

Children’s views and preferences

[30] The Father’s initial abandonment and failure to exercise regular parenting time since separation has had a negative impact on the Children. I accept the Mother’s evidence that C.M. is not comfortable with the Father because she has not spent much time with him since he first left when she was three months old.

[31] I also accept the Mother’s evidence that N.M. loves his Father but that he feels rejected and is uncertain as to where he stands with him. Troublingly, the older child has developed an unhealthy fear of police, has expressed his desire to “protect” the Mother, and has accused the Father of lying to law enforcement.

[32] The Mother says that the Children plead with her not to attend parenting time with the Father, and that they must be bribed and cajoled. Clearly, both Children suffer from separation anxiety. Once, N.M. displayed a handwritten poster in his window advising his Father that he did not want to go with him. During recorded exchanges, the Children often refuse to leave with the Father.

[33] The Children’s anxiety likely reflects overlapping dynamics, including their strong and age-appropriate bond with the Mother, the overall lack of predictability in the Father’s parenting time, and the high-conflict nature of the parents’ interactions. The AFCC-O at p. 11 note that:

Transitions, by their nature, can be difficult for a child. Many children struggle when they are required to interrupt an activity or to leave a parent. This difficulty can be further magnified if the child is also exposed to conflict between his or her parents. It is not unusual for a child to appear distressed or to show sadness or anxiety at transition times.

That all being said, I accept the Father’s evidence that once the Children settle down in his care, they are happy and engaged. The Children shares their Father’s for the Raptor’s and enjoy playing basketball and biking with him.

Supervision of the Father’s parenting time

[34] Given the Children’s current circumstances, the Mother says that the Children will only be safe if the Father continues to exercise his parenting time at the paternal grandparents’ residence. The Mother notes that the Father’s parenting time with the Children has always been supervised – first by the Mother, then by the Church priest, and finally by the paternal grandparents.

[35] The Father says that continued supervision is not in the Children’s best interests. He says that gradually transitioning to unsupervised parenting time will deepen their bond. Because of the grandparents' advancing age and unreliable availability, the Father says that he is not able to take the Children on longer bike rides, out to restaurants, or to family gatherings. After receiving his equalization payment, the Father plans to move into his own home and establish a routine whereby the Children have overnight parenting time at his house. He wants to take the Children to Niagara Falls or on other overnight excursions close by.

[36] As discussed above, there is no evidence that the Father has abused the Children or that there is any risk to them while in his care. The Mother’s audio recordings of the Father’s interactions with the Children during exchanges do not satisfy me that the Father behaves in an angry or aggressive manner towards the Children. The Mother points to four recordings out of the thousands that she admits to having made. At its highest, the recordings simply show that the exchanges have become fraught for the parents and that tensions and frustrations sometimes run high on both sides.

[37] The Father does not have any mental health disabilities that would justify imposing supervision of his parenting time. He readily admitted that, during the marriage and immediately post-separation (2016-2017), he was emotionally unstable, was on medication for situational depression and anxiety, and was partying and travelling. There is no evidence that the Father is currently suffering from a mental health disability that would impact his care of the Children. The Mother’s evidence was speculative and largely based on stereotypes.

[38] There is also no cogent evidence that the Father is neglectful. While the Mother says that the Father once lost track of N.M. at a fair and left an infant C.M. unattended for a few minutes, both incidents were denied by the Father, took place years ago, and hardly demonstrate a current pattern of neglect. The Mother did not elicit any evidence to corroborate her view that the Children have been harmed while in the Father’s care.

[39] The Mother insinuated that the Father may be involved in a relationship with a person who has terrorist ties or that he may have once been targeted by criminals. There is no reliable evidence to support these serious allegations and I reject them. There is also no cogent evidence that the Father has inappropriately shared or posted information about the Children online. The Mother cannot control the Father under the guise of a parenting order.

[40] Finally, the Mother says that she is not confident that the Father can take care of the Children overnight. She says that he does not know how to bathe, feed, or otherwise care for them. While the Father did not provide any evidence about his plan of care of the Children or about his capacity to engage in the routine aspects of parenting, I have no doubt that the Father will step up to the challenge. Parenting does not require any special skills or qualities, and many imperfect people make perfectly adequate parents: E.M.B. v. M.F.B., supra, at para. 46.

[41] That said, it would be helpful for the parents to discuss a consistent routine for the Children during their co-parenting counselling. As they get older, the Father will not be able to resort to screen time, candy, or toys to bide his time with them. To manage their separation anxiety, he will need to establish a stable and predictable routine in terms of their schoolwork and activities, snacks and meals, personal hygiene (toileting, bathing), and bedtime (wind-down routine, etc.).

[42] Overall, I find that it is in the Children’s best interests to gradually eliminate supervision of the Father’s parenting time. Supervision is meant to be short-term. Here, the Mother has not satisfied me that there is any lingering risk to the Children if the Father’s parenting time is unsupervised. The Father has had sporadic parenting time with the Children for four years, without any reported issues. Photographs from his parenting time show Children who are happy and engaged. It is important for the Children to have unsupervised parenting time to deepen their bond with him and to firmly demonstrate that their Father is not someone to be feared.

[43] This change in the parenting routine must be introduced gradually. Given the history of care and their separation anxiety, it is in the Children’s best interests to maintain the status quo of supervised parenting time at the paternal grandparents' home until such time as the Father’s overnight parenting time has become established (i.e., after completion of three overnight visits) and the parents enrol and complete three co-parent counselling sessions. After those two conditions are met, the Father may begin to exercise his parenting time at his own residence.

[44] There shall be no additional conditions on the exercise of his parenting time except as agreed upon by the parties and set out in the Final Order below.

Exchanges

[45] The parents agree that exchanges are source of conflict and are difficult for the Children. The presence of family members at exchanges has not mitigated the problems. For reasons that remain unclear, exchanges take upwards of 30 to 50 minutes each. Lengthy audio recordings capture the Children’s agitation and anxiety, at times clinging to their Mother, grabbing and hitting their Father, laughing and playing, whining and crying, and ultimately refusing to go with their Father. The Mother is silent throughout while the Father becomes increasingly frustrated.

[46] The parents have tried many different exchange locations. At first, when the Father was exercising his parenting time at the Mother’s home, transitions were relatively seamless. After the Father was criminally charged, exchanges took place at the Church which the Father says resulted in police being called more than once. After the charges were dropped, the Father picked the Children up at the Mother’s home in Mississauga and drove them to the paternal grandparents' home in Scarborough. The Mother would pick them up and drive them home.

[47] After a difficult interaction in January 2021, the parents began exchanging the Children at a police station in Mississauga. The Father stopped exercising his parenting time altogether after another difficult exchange in April 2021. The police intervened to deescalate a verbal disagreement between the parents and warned the parents about the negative impact of their actions on the Children.

[48] It is in the best interests of the Children that exchanges take place in a structured and time-bound manner, at a predictable and neutral location, and that there be absolutely no exposure to parental conflict. The Father asks that the location be public and subject to video surveillance. He suggests a police station, CAS parking lot, or gas station. The Mother wants a comfortable environment for the Children that minimizes the parties’ interactions with each other. She suggests a church.

[49] The parties asked me to give due consideration in whatever order I make to their high conflict dynamic and inability to communicate. Here, I find that it is in the Children’s best interests for exchanges take place at a supervised access centre for eight months. Third-party supervised exchanges are not meant to be permanent but will allow the parents to establish a new routine and ensure the Children feel safe during transitions: see S. A. v. Y.M., 2020 ONCJ 147 at para. 84; Jonczyk v. Tisley, 2021 ONSC 2546 at paras. 14-17; G.T.M. v. S.M.G, 2020 ONCJ 511 at para. 116. The parents shall split any costs associated with the supervised exchanges proportionally.

[50] After a period of eight months, assuming unsupervised overnight parenting time has commenced, the Father shall pick the Children up from after-school-care on Fridays, and the Mother shall pick up the Children from a gas station roughly equidistant between the parties. This will minimize interaction between the parents.

[51] The parents shall not record exchanges: see Caputo v Caputo, 2014 ONSC 1639 at para. 163.

Section 7 expenses

[52] Section 7 of the Federal Child Support Guidelines (SOR/ 97-175) grants me the discretion to order one parent to cover all or any portion of “special expenses” as part of the overall child support order. Special expenses include, for example:

• childcare expenses incurred due to employment by the parent who has the majority of parenting time (s. 7(1)(a));

• the child’s medical and dental insurance premiums (s. 7(1)(b));

• the child’s health-related expenses that exceed insurance reimbursement by at least $100 annually (s. 7(1)(c)); and

• the child’s “extraordinary” extracurricular activity expenses (s. 7(1)(f)).

[53] In exercising my broad discretion under s. 7(1), I must consider the necessity of the expense to the child’s best interests, and the reasonableness of the expense in relation to the parties’ means, and their spending pattern prior to separation. In relation to a claim for extracurricular activities, I must also consider the recipient parent’s ability to cover the expense, given their income and the child support they are already receiving (s. 7(1.1)). The guiding principle is that parents should contribute, proportional to their income, to the legitimate and genuine expenses associated with raising a child: s. 7(2).

[54] The Mother earns $83,486 per year. The Father earns $51,125 per year and is paying $774.18 per month in Table child support. Both parents have health benefits plans through their employment.

[55] The Mother asks the Father to contribute to swimming lessons and martial arts. The Mother says that swimming is a life-saving skill and that martial arts teach discipline and self-regulation. The Mother says that the Father has few genuine expenses and that he is more than capable of covering some of the costs associated with the Children’s extracurricular activities. The Father repeatedly told the Court that he was “living his best life” and would “not apologize” about his attendance at numerous Raptors games between 2018-2020, and vacations to the Dominican Republic in 2019 and 2020.

[56] The Father says that the Mother earns significantly more money than him, and that he is already paying Table child support. He says that it is more important to his long-term relationship with the Children that he purchase a property of his own and that he needs to save his money to do so.

[57] The Father shall contribute $750 per year, per Child, towards the Children’s extracurricular activities (for a total of $1500 per year). This lump sum contribution reflects the Father’s significantly lower income and the fact that he is already paying regular child support payments. However, it also recognizes that the Father does not have any current dependants and has a pattern of spending money on luxuries. To minimize the need for communication between the parties, the Father shall make this payment annually without requiring proof of enrollment.

[58] The Mother says that the daycare and summer camp expenses are necessary childcare expenses based on her reality of being a full-time working parent and the sole caregiver to the Children on weekdays. She says that the Father should contribute proportionally to these expenses, or offer to assist with the Children, for example, during the summer. The Father understands the necessity of the expenses but says that the Mother explore more cost-effective programs even if they are less convenient for her work schedule. For example, he suggests enrolling the Children in city-run day camps rather than the private camp offered by her employer. He suggests that perhaps she could leave the Children with the maternal grandmother more often.

[59] Overall, I find that the Father shall contribute proportionally to the before- and after-school care and the day camp expenses claimed by the Mother. These are legitimate expenses that are necessary precisely because the Father left the Mother to care for the Children largely on her own. The Mother should be granted a degree of latitude in determining what childcare arrangements work best for her and the Children. She shall provide the Father with proof of enrollment.

[60] The Father shall also contribute proportionally to the Children’s medical and dental insurance premium and health-related expenses. Given the young age of the Children, there was insufficient evidence before me to make an order regarding post-secondary education expenses.

COSTS

[61] Both parties submitted their Bills of Costs and relevant offers to settle. The Mother claims $20,000 in fees and $500 in disbursements. The Father claims $37,500 in fees and for his own preparation time.

[62] To properly exercise my discretion under s. 131 of the Courts of Justice Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. C.43, I must consider and apply Rule 24 of the Family Law Rules, O. Reg. 114/99.

[63] Both parents were partly successful on this application: the Mother was successful in her claim for s. 7 expenses, while the Father was successful in his claim for unsupervised parenting time. Both parties were self-represented at trial and conducted themselves professionally, though the Mother was decidedly more prepared.

[64] The Mother relies on her Offers to Settle of April and May 2021 to support costs being awarded in her favour. However, neither offer was severable, and the Father obtained a more favourable result in terms of the parenting orders than offered by the Mother.

[65] No costs shall be payable in this matter.

FINAL ORDER

66. On consent of the parties, this Final Order replaces all previous orders, including the final orders made on September 20 and 21, 2021.

Best interests of the Children

[67] The parenting provisions of this Order apply to N.M. and C.M. (“the Children”).

[68] The parents shall make best efforts to work cooperatively and to make parenting arrangements with the Children’s best interests at heart. The parents recognize that the Children’s best interests shall be paramount in relation to any dispute, conflict, or concern regarding the parenting of the Children.

[69] The parents recognize the Children’s need for a positive, ongoing, and stable relationships with both parents. The parents shall make every effort to actively foster and facilitate the Children’s positive relationships with the other parent.

[70] The parents shall inquire directly with the Children regarding their day-to-day needs, views, and preferences. The parents shall also communicate regarding the Children’s needs, views, and preferences to ensure that the Children are as comfortable as possible in the care of each parent.

Decision-making

[71] For any future decisions that need to be made with respect to the medical and mental health needs of the Children, the parties shall strongly consider the advice provided by medical professionals directly involved with the Children (e.g., family doctor).

[72] For any future decisions that need to be made with respect to the Children’s educational and mental health needs, the parties shall strongly consider the advice provided by the Children’s teachers and school administration (e.g., principal, guidance counsellors).

[73] If, after consultation with appropriate third parties (e.g., teachers, doctors, therapists, etc.), the Mother and the Father are still in disagreement with respect to a particular issue, the Mother shall have final decision-making authority with respect to that issue.

[74] The parents may make inquiries and be given information by the Children’s teachers, school officials, doctors, dentists, health care providers, summer camp counsellors or others involving the Children directly. The parties intend this paragraph to provide each of them with direct access to any information or documentation to which a parent of a child would otherwise have a right of access to. If, for whatever reason, this paragraph itself is not sufficient (although both parties intend it to be sufficient authority for either of them), the parties will cooperate and execute any required authorization or direction necessary to enforce the intent of this paragraph.

[75] Both parents shall be listed as emergency contacts with the Children’s schools or other organizations involved with the care of the Children.

[76] The parents shall notify each other immediately if the Children experience a medical emergency. Both parents have the right to make emergency medical decisions respecting the Children while they are in their care.

[77] The Mother shall be the custodian of the Children’s government-issued documents. The Mother shall provide a photocopy of the Children’s health and social insurance cards to the Father forthwith.

[78] The Mother shall have the right to renew the Children’s government-issued documents and the Father shall execute any documents necessary and provide his consent within 7 days of a written request. The Mother shall bear the full cost of renewing the Children’s documents.

Communication

[79] The parties shall convey any necessary information about the Children by email. This shall include information about the Children’s health and medications.

[80] The Children shall be free to initiate communication with either parent. The other parent shall, as required and within reason, facilitate such communication.

[81] The parents shall make every effort to protect the Children from exposure to conflict.

[82] The parents shall communicate with one another in a reasonable and cordial manner. The parents shall refrain from any manner of conflict, or criticism or disparagement of the other parent, whether direct or indirect, including and especially when the Children are present or nearby.

[83] The parents shall respect each other’s privacy and shall not engage the Children in any discussions or questioning about the other parent’s personal life or activities. The parents shall refrain from any form of interference, direct or indirect, into the life, activities, or routines of the other parent.

Co-parent counselling

[84] The parents shall attend co-parenting counselling. The following procedure shall be followed:

a. Within seven days, the Mother shall propose the names of three to five counsellors that are located within 30 km from the Coptic Orthodox Church, located at 1245 Eglinton Avenue West (or anywhere in Ontario if the counselling services are offered virtually);

b. Within seven days of receiving the names from the Mother, the Father shall select one of the proposed professionals;

c. The parties shall jointly retain the mutually selected counsellor;

d. If either party has benefits through their employment, these benefits shall be applied towards the cost of counselling, and the parties shall share the non-insured cost equally, 50/50; and

e. The parties shall strongly consider the counsellor’s recommendations with respect to the frequency of session (e.g., once a month; only when a major parenting decision emerges, etc.).

Parenting time

[85] The Children’s primary residence shall be with the Mother.

[86] Each parent is responsible for providing adequate supervision, providing all necessities (clothing, food, etc.), and assisting the Children with schoolwork during their parenting time.

[87] Commencing October 16, 2021, the Father shall have parenting time with the Children every Sunday from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. The Father’s parenting time shall take place at the paternal grandparents' home.

[88] Commencing November 14, 2021, the Father shall have parenting time with the Children every Sunday from 10:00 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. The Father’s parenting time shall take place at the paternal grandparents' home.

[89] Commencing December 17, 2021, the Respondent/Father shall have parenting time with the Children on alternating weekends from Friday at 6:00 p.m. until Saturday at 5:00 p.m. (“overnight parenting time”).

[90] The Father’s overnight parenting time shall take place at the paternal grandparents’ home until the following two conditions:

a. The Father has had three weekends of overnight parenting time; and

b. The parents have completed three co-parent counselling sessions.

After these two conditions are met, the Father’s overnight parenting time shall be unsupervised and shall take place at the Father’s residence or at the paternal grandparents' residence, at his sole discretion.

[91] Both parents shall comply with all current government safety COVID-19 guidelines, including those in place in the Children’s jurisdiction. Where there is a conflict between the government guidelines and the advice of the Children’s healthcare providers, the parties shall both follow the advice of the healthcare provider.

[92] The parents shall refrain from consuming alcohol or drugs at least 10 hours prior to commencing their parenting time with the Children. The parents shall refrain from consuming or smoking tobacco, hookah, or sheesha in the vicinity of the Children, or inside any place in which the Children will be sleeping overnight.

[93] Consistent with their best interests, the parents may extend parenting time as agreed upon in advance and in writing. The parties shall provide at least two weeks' notice of any request for an extension of parenting time.

[94] The parents shall endeavour to advise the other parent within at least 24 hours if they need to cancel or change the parenting time arrangements.

[95] Make-up parenting time shall be offered and facilitated in a timely manner where the other parent cancels the parenting time. Where a parent cancels their own parenting time, make up access may be offered at the discretion of the other parent, bearing in mind the Children’s best interests.

[96] Neither parent shall plan any activities for the Children during the other parent's parenting time, unless agreed to in advance in writing. Each parent shall ensure that the Children are transported to their scheduled activities during their respective parenting time, so long as the activity was agreed to by the parties in advance.

[97] The parents and their respective families may attend the Children’s extra-curricular and school activities, regardless of the parenting schedule, and shall conduct themselves in a respectful and child-focused manner.

Holidays/Special Days

[98] On the Children’s birthdays, upon written request at least two weeks in advance, the parent who does not have parenting time shall be permitted to see the Children:

a. If the birthday falls on a school day, for a maximum of 2 hours after school; and

b. If the birthday falls on a weekend, for a maximum of 4 hours.

[99] The Children shall spend the first half of Christmas Day with one parent and the second half of the day with the other parent, rotating the order on an annual basis. For the upcoming Christmas, the Children shall spend the first half of Christmas Day with the Father.

[100] The Children shall spend Mother’s Day/Father’s Day with the respective parent. If the honoured parent’s day takes place during the other parent’s parenting time, the other parent shall offer make-up time on another weekend or on the Saturday.

[101] All other holidays/special events shall be celebrated with the parent who has parenting time on that day.

Exchanges

[102] Both parents shall transport the Children safely and securely, obeying all traffic and safety laws, avoiding distracted driving, supervising the Children as necessary in traffic, and using the appropriate child restraint based on their age and weight based on Transport Canada Guidelines.

[103] For a period of eight months from the date of this Order, exchanges shall take place at a supervised access centre of the Mother’s choice that is roughly equidistant between the parties. The parents shall follow the rules and direction of supervised access centre staff. The parents shall cover any associated costs on a proportional basis.

[104] The parties shall comply with the Supervised Access Centre’s intake protocol and complete all necessary paperwork forthwith.

[105] If no supervised access centre is open due to COVID-19 or if there is an inordinate waiting list, the Father is still entitled to commence his parenting time with the Children and the parents shall use best efforts to identify and agree upon an independent third-party who will be able to supervise the exchanges.

[106] After eight months of supervised exchanges, the parents shall exchange the Children as follows:

a. The Father shall pick up the Children from after-school-care on Fridays at 6:00 p.m.; and

b. The Mother shall pick up the Children from a gas station roughly equidistant between the parties on Saturdays at 5:00 p.m.

[107] If either parent expects to be more than 5 minutes late for an exchange, they shall notify the other parent at least thirty minutes in advance.

[108] Neither party shall record the exchanges.

Child support and s. 7 expenses

[109] The Father shall pay child support to the Mother in the amount of $774.18 per month, commencing October 1, 2021, and on the first day of each month that follows.

[110] The Father shall contribute proportionally to the Children’s medical and dental expenses, net of taxes and insurance benefits. Both parties shall ensure that they claim all medical and dental expenses incurred through their extended health provider before a demand for contribution to the expenses is made. The parties shall provide each other a copy of any response received.

[111] The Father shall contribute proportionally to all reasonable costs associated with childcare, net of taxes and available subsidies, including but not limited to, daycare, before- and after-school care, and private summer day camps (i.e., Camp UofT). The Mother shall make all childcare arrangements and provide receipts for the same.

[112] The Father shall make a lump sum payment of $1500 per year as a contribution towards the Children’s extracurricular activities, including but not limited to swimming, martial arts, et cetera. No receipts or other documentation shall be required from the Mother. The first contribution shall be made on May 1, 2022 and annually thereafter.

[113] Beginning on May 1, 2022, and every year thereafter while child support and s. 7 expenses are payable, the parties shall exchange information regarding their income from all sources for the previous year (i.e., income tax returns and Notices of Assessment) and the parties’ Table child support/s. 7 expenses shall be adjusted. The new amount shall become payable on July 1^st of that same year. Any overpayments or underpayments of child support/s. 7 expenses shall be determined between the parties and settled up on or before July 1^st of the same year.

[114] Upon receipt of this yearly disclosure, if the sum of monthly child support increases, the Father shall make one lump sum payment to the Mother to ensure the proper amount is paid, retroactive to January 1^st of that year, which sum shall be payable in 30 days. Upon payment by the Mother to the Father of the sum set forth herein, child support arrears are set at $0 and there is no child support arears owing as of that date.

[115] Unless the Support Deduction Order is withdrawn from the Office of the Director of the Family Responsibility Office, the Support Order shall be enforced by the Director, and amounts owing under the Support Order shall be paid to the Director, who shall pay them to the party to whom they are owed.

Spousal Support

116. There shall be no spousal support payable by either party.

Life insurance to secure support

117. The Father shall provide the Applicant with a copy of his full life insurance policy designating her as the irrevocable beneficiary within 7 days.

Equalization

118. The Mother shall pay the Father a lump sum of $34,500 in full satisfaction of any equalization payment owing. This sum is payable on or before November 19, 2021.

Divorce

119. Either party may apply for a divorce, in writing. The party who initiates the divorce shall pay 100% of the fees associated with same. The other party shall cooperate in the service of documents, if necessary. The divorce shall proceed on an uncontested basis.

Interest

120. This order bears interest at the post-judgement interest rate set out in the Courts of Justice Act, effective from the date of this order.

Dispute Resolution

121. On consent, if the parties disagree about a reviewable or variable term of this Order, they will first try to resolve the dispute through negotiation, following this schedule:

a. The party seeking a change in any section of this Order will make the request for review or variation by giving the other, in writing, which request shall include:

1. Notice of the proposed change;

2. Evidence supporting the proposed change;

3. Any requests for information from the other necessary to determine the issue; and

4. A request under subsection (a) above will be answered within 20 days.

b. After exchanging any information required by this Order (e.g., income information), the parties will meet/communicate personally (or through their personal representatives) to resolve the issue(s) in dispute. If they come to an agreement, the parties will sign and date an amending agreement before witnesses.

122. If the parties are unable to resolve the dispute through negotiation within twenty (20) days thereof, they will mediate/arbitrate the issue on the following terms:

a. The party seeking the request for review/variation will propose the names of three (3) to five (5) mediator/arbitrators that are located within 30 km of the Children’s school or further, if the mediator-arbitrator is able to conduct their mediation/arbitration virtually, where both parties consent to such arrangements;

b. Within seven (7) days, the other party will select one of the proposed professionals;

c. The parties shall jointly retain the mutually selected mediator/arbitrator without delay;

d. The parties shall share the cost of the mediation/arbitration equally, 50/50; and

e. The parties shall strongly consider the advice of the mediator/arbitrator.

123. If the issue(s) in dispute pertains to parenting, the parties may agree to retain the services of a parenting coordinator, instead of a mediator/arbitrator, provided they both consent in advance, in writing. If the parties elect to retain a parenting coordinator, the parties shall strongly consider the recommendation(s) of the parenting coordinator.

Mandhane J.

Released: October 8, 2021

COURT FILE NO.: FS-17-90706

DATE: 202101008

ONTARIO

SUPERIOR COURT OF JUSTICE

B E T W E E N:

R.M.

Applicant

• and -

P.M.

Respondent

REASONS FOR JUDGMENT

Mandhane J.

Released: October 8, 2021